Before You Say “I Do”: The Dos and Don’ts of Prenuptial Agreements

Talking about a prenuptial agreement before your wedding may not be the most romantic conversation. But a prenup isn’t about planning for divorce—it’s about having an honest conversation about finances, protecting what you’ve built, and making thoughtful decisions together before you say, “I do.”

A prenuptial agreement, commonly called a “prenup,” is a contract between two people who are planning to marry. It can establish certain financial rights and responsibilities during the marriage and determine how certain property and financial interests will be handled if the marriage ends through divorce or death.

Whether you are entering your first marriage, getting married later in life, bringing significant assets into the relationship, or simply want clarity about your finances, a prenup may be worth considering.

The Dos of a Prenuptial Agreement

DO Start the Conversation Early

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is waiting until the wedding is just around the corner.

A prenup should not be presented as a last-minute ultimatum. Give both people enough time to discuss the agreement, review financial information, ask questions, negotiate terms, and consult their own attorneys.

Starting early also helps prevent the process from feeling like one person is being pressured into signing.

DO Be Completely Honest About Your Finances

Transparency is essential.

Both parties should provide accurate information about their assets, debts, income, and other significant financial interests. Hiding assets or providing incomplete financial information can create serious problems and may affect the enforceability of an agreement.

Think of the process as a financial conversation with your future spouse—not simply paperwork to sign.

DO Consider Your Individual Financial Goals

A good prenup should reflect the circumstances and goals of the people entering the marriage.

For example, couples may want to address:

• Property owned before marriage
• Existing debts
• Businesses or professional practices
• Inheritances
• Investments and retirement accounts
• How certain property will be classified during the marriage
• Financial responsibilities during the marriage
• Certain rights in the event of divorce
• Estate-planning considerations

Every couple is different, so there is no one-size-fits-all prenup.

DO Have Your Own Attorney Review the Agreement

Ideally, each person should have independent legal counsel.

Your future spouse’s attorney represents your future spouse—not you. Having your own attorney allows you to understand what you are agreeing to and whether the agreement adequately protects your interests.

A prenup is an important legal contract. You should understand it before signing it.

DO Think About the Future

You may not have children, a business, or substantial assets today. That doesn’t mean your financial situation will always look the same.

A thoughtful prenup can take future circumstances into consideration, within the limits of applicable law. Couples should discuss how they envision handling major financial changes, particularly if one spouse expects to build a business, receive an inheritance, stay home with children, or significantly change their career.

The Don’ts of a Prenuptial Agreement

DON’T Wait Until the Last Minute

Asking your partner to sign a prenup days before the wedding can create unnecessary stress and may raise concerns about whether the agreement was entered into voluntarily.

Give yourselves time.

The earlier you begin, the more opportunity there is for a meaningful discussion and negotiation.

DON’T Hide Assets or Debts

A prenup should never be used as a tool to conceal financial information.

Both parties should be forthcoming about their financial circumstances. Full disclosure helps create a stronger foundation for the agreement and allows each person to make informed decisions.

DON’T Use a Prenup as a Threat

A prenup should be a negotiated agreement—not a demand.

Statements like “Sign this or the wedding is off” can turn an already difficult conversation into a confrontation.

Instead, approach the process as an opportunity to discuss financial expectations before marriage.

DON’T Assume You Can Put Anything You Want in a Prenup

A prenuptial agreement is not a blank check.

There are legal requirements governing these agreements, and certain provisions may not be enforceable. In addition, provisions involving issues such as child custody and child support generally cannot simply be predetermined by the parents in a prenup because courts must consider the child’s best interests and applicable law at the time of the proceeding.

Your attorney can explain what can—and cannot—appropriately be included.

DON’T Simply Download a Form and Sign It

Online templates may look convenient, but a prenup is a legal agreement that should be tailored to your circumstances.

Your finances, property, family situation, and goals are unique. A generic form may not address important issues or may contain provisions that don’t work for your particular situation.

What Can a Prenuptial Agreement Cover?

Depending on the couple’s circumstances and applicable law, a prenup may address financial matters such as:

Separate property: Identifying property that each person owns individually and wants to keep separate.

Marital property: Establishing how certain assets acquired during the marriage may be treated.

Debts: Addressing responsibility for certain debts and financial obligations.

Businesses: Protecting and defining interests in a business or professional practice.

Inheritance and gifts: Addressing how certain inherited or gifted property may be treated.

Spousal support: In some circumstances, the agreement may address rights relating to spousal support, subject to applicable law and enforceability requirements.

Estate planning: Coordinating certain provisions with an overall estate plan.

The exact terms will depend on the couple’s circumstances and the law governing the agreement.

What About Children?

This is one of the most important things to understand about prenups.

A prenuptial agreement generally should not be used to predetermine child custody or child support. Courts typically retain authority to make decisions concerning children based on the circumstances that exist when those issues actually arise.

Your prenup can still be an important part of your overall financial and estate-planning strategy as your family grows, but provisions concerning children require special care.

A Prenup Doesn’t Mean You Expect Your Marriage to Fail

This may be the biggest misconception about prenuptial agreements.

People insure their homes without expecting them to burn down. They wear seatbelts without expecting to get into an accident. They create wills without expecting to die tomorrow.

A prenup can serve a similar purpose: planning for an uncertain future.

Talking about money before marriage can actually help couples understand each other’s expectations and avoid misunderstandings later.

The goal isn’t necessarily to plan for divorce. The goal is to make important financial decisions together while both people are entering the marriage voluntarily and thoughtfully.

When Should You Consider a Prenup?

A prenup may be particularly worth discussing if:

• You own significant assets before marriage.
• You own or expect to start a business.
• You have substantial debt.
• You have children from a previous relationship.
• You expect to receive a significant inheritance.
• You have substantial retirement or investment accounts.
• One person expects to stay home to raise children.
• You have significant differences in income or assets.
• You have been married before.
• You want greater clarity about your financial expectations before marriage.

But you don’t have to be wealthy to benefit from having the conversation.

For many couples, the most valuable part of the prenup process is simply understanding how each person views money, property, debt, and financial responsibility.

The Bottom Line

A prenuptial agreement isn’t about expecting your marriage to fail. It’s about making informed decisions before marriage rather than leaving important financial decisions to be made during an already difficult time.

Start early. Be transparent. Get independent legal advice. Take the time to understand what you’re signing.

Most importantly, don’t treat a prenup as something you have to “get done” before the wedding. Treat it as an opportunity to have an important conversation about your financial future together.

If you’re considering a prenuptial agreement, an attorney can help you understand your options and create an agreement that reflects your individual circumstances and goals.

Planning ahead isn’t unromantic. Sometimes, it’s one of the most responsible things you can do for your future.