Co-Parenting Tips for the School Year
Monday Matters| Back-to-school guidance for Illinois families navigating divorce, separation, and shared parenting.
As Chicago celebrates another successful Bud Billiken Parade, we’re reminded why this beloved tradition has endured for nearly a century. More than just a parade, it represents hope, education, and the excitement of a new school year for generations of Chicago families.
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As Chicago Public Schools (CPS) students prepare to head back into the classroom—and schools across Illinois and the country begin welcoming students back—families are preparing for new teachers, new routines, and new opportunities.
For many parents, the school year simply marks another chapter. But for families navigating divorce, separation, or a child custody case, back-to-school season often brings new questions about parenting time, transportation, school communication, and extracurricular activities.
The good news? A little planning before the first school bell rings can prevent unnecessary conflict throughout the year.
Whether you’re newly separated or have been co-parenting for years, here are practical tips for navigating the school year successfully.
1. Put Your Child’s Success at the Center of Every Decision
Illinois family custody courts make decisions based upon one guiding principle: the best interests of the child.
When it comes to disagreements, parents can use a similar thought process.
Will this decision help my child feel supported, stable, and successful at school?
That simple question changes the conversation. Instead of trying to “win” against the other parent, the focus shifts back to where it belongs—your child.
2. Review Your School-Year Parenting Plan Before the First Day
Summer schedules rarely look like school-year schedules.
Now is the time to discuss:
- Transportation and school drop-offs
- Bus schedules
- Before- and after-school care
- Homework expectations
- Parent-teacher conferences
- School pictures
- Holidays and teacher institute days
- Extracurricular activities and practices
- Who is responsible for registration fees, uniforms, equipment, or activity costs
Having these conversations now can eliminate misunderstandings later. If you’re in the middle of a case and nothing has been decided, this may be the time to reach out to your attorney to discuss a temporary solution or court order. Schools need information. A court order (even if temporary) can help add clarity.
3. Communication Is One of the Best Co-Parenting Tools You Have
One of the biggest issues we see isn’t necessarily conflict.
It’s a lack of communication.
Don’t assume the other parent knows:
- Picture Day
- Open House
- School performances
- Athletic schedules
- Homework projects
- Classroom parties
- Teacher conferences
Keeping both parents informed allows your child to feel supported by everyone involved.
Whenever possible, communicate in writing and keep conversations focused on the child—not past disagreements. We often suggest either Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard. Both applications have the ability to share information including calendars and other helpful tools.
4. Treat Your Child’s School as a Partner
Many parents wonder:
Should my child’s school know we’re separating or divorced?
You don’t have to share every detail of your family’s situation. But it is fair to share some information that would be helpful for the staff to know. Letting teachers, counselors, and administrators know your child is experiencing a family transition can be incredibly helpful.
School staff are often the first to notice emotional or behavioral changes and can provide additional support when needed. I refer to teachers as members of the children’s village.
Make sure the school also has:
- Updated emergency contacts
- Authorized pick-up information
- Current custody or parenting information, when appropriate
- Contact information for both parents, if applicable
Remember, your child’s school wants them to succeed just as much as you do.
5. Keep Adult Conflict Away from the Classroom
School should remain a safe place where children can focus on learning—not adult conflict. School has been a safe haven not just for education but their friends and social circles.
The less stress children carry between households, the more emotional energy they have for school.
6. Be Flexible When Life Happens
Traffic.
Illness.
A forgotten backpack.
A school project is due tomorrow.
Life happens.
Successful co-parenting isn’t about keeping score—it’s about working together when unexpected situations arise.
Showing flexibility today often encourages cooperation tomorrow.
Children benefit most when they see both parents solving problems rather than creating new ones.
7. Know When It’s Time to Revisit Your Parenting Plan
Sometimes the school year exposes problems that weren’t obvious during the summer.
Maybe transportation isn’t working.
Maybe extracurricular activities have become overwhelming or more expensive than you realized.
Maybe your child’s educational needs have changed.
If your parenting plan no longer reflects your child’s reality, it may be time to discuss modifications.
Some families resolve these issues through communication or mediation. Others may benefit from working with a parenting coordinator or seeking guidance from the court. Here at Pinay Law we are able to help you navigate the courts for a modification.
Every family is different, but the goal remains the same: creating a parenting arrangement that supports your child’s success.
Frequently Asked Questions About Co-Parenting During the School Year
Can both parents attend parent-teacher conferences?
Generally, yes. Unless a court order provides otherwise, both parents often have the ability to remain involved in their child’s education. Many schools also offer parent portals that allow both parents to receive updates directly.
What if our parenting schedule doesn’t work once school starts?
As children grow, their schedules change. If your parenting schedule no longer meets your child’s needs, parents may be able to agree on modifications, participate in mediation, or seek a court-approved modification when necessary.
Should teachers know we’re in the middle of a custody case?
You don’t need to share every detail, but informing teachers or school counselors that your family is experiencing a transition can help them better support your child if emotional or behavioral changes arise.
Remember What This Season Is Really About
The excitement of a new backpack.
Meeting a new teacher.
Finding a classroom.
Seeing old friends again.
These moments only happen once each school year.
Whether you’re parenting together, apart, or navigating an ongoing custody matter, children benefit most when the adults in their lives remain focused on what matters most—their success.
At Pinay Law, we’re proud to help Illinois families navigate life’s transitions with compassion, practical guidance, and experienced legal advocacy.
Here’s to a successful, safe, and inspiring school year for every student.
About the Author
Attorney Andrea M. Harvey serves as Senior Counsel, Business Development & Strategy at Pinay Law. Andrea is passionate about helping clients navigate life’s most significant transitions with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
Through her #MondayMatters series, Andrea explores the intersection of law, leadership, business, and life—because some of the most valuable lessons learned in the practice of law extend far beyond the courtroom. Her writing is designed to inform, encourage thoughtful conversation, and provide practical insights drawn from real-world experience.
Disclaimer
The information contained in this article is provided for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this article does not create an attorney-client relationship with The Law Office of Janice A. Dantes or any of its attorneys. Every legal matter is unique and depends on its specific facts and circumstances. Readers should consult with a qualified attorney regarding their individual legal needs before taking any action based on the information discussed in this article.
